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So, this is it. The end of the line. Happy Hour is officially over. Time for all of us to call a cab. Try not to puke until you get home, please.
It’s been a wild ride, that’s for sure. I remember in the early days of this column, I was getting hate mail every single week.
I think the best letters were the ones from people who are saving themselves for marriage.
I remember a lot of those for some reason; they must not have been students here.
I haven’t really been pissing people off as much this year, and for that I apologize.
I miss the hate mail.
At the same time, I’ve gotten tons of great feedback from the people who read and enjoy my column. Thank you guys so much, it really has meant a lot to me. Not as much as being called “pathetic and insecure,” but still, it meant something.
Overall, I have mixed feelings about my time in college. I’ve had some of the craziest and best times of my life over the past four years. I don’t remember a lot of them, but people have told me I had fun. Without coming to college, I would never have met my girlfriend, Sarah. I wouldn’t have learned about true love, the importance of compromise, and I’d probably still be picking my own outfits. That would really suck.
I wouldn’t have made such great friends and been exposed to such an incredibly diverse group of people and experiences. I can’t tell you how much I’ve learned from my one black friend.
Spending time on campus has really played a big part in shaping who I am today, but I have to wonder... is my degree really worth tens of thousands of dollars? I’m not so sure.
It’s basically a piece of paper that says to employers, “Well, at least you know I can read.” I could have printed that out at home for free.
As is true with everything in life, though, you get out what you put in. It’s up to you to make the best of your time at college. With that in mind, my advice to anyone who is stuck here for another couple of years is this: you really are living the good life right now, so enjoy it.
Seriously.
If you’re a bookworm, put your homework aside for one night and go have sex with someone. It’ll be good for you. Never be afraid to have a good time. So what if your RA gives you some slip of paper that says you’re in trouble? They’re a year older than you; you don’t have to listen to them.
Find something you are passionate about, it doesn’t matter what it is, then use this time to work on that.
There is no rule that says you aren’t allowed to accomplish things in your field until you graduate.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t make a living as an artist or a dancer or whatever the hell else. Right now you can’t make a living as anything, so who the hell cares?
Do what you love.
Explore the options that are in front of you, create your own opportunities, and never say no to one that falls in your lap.
Carve your own path because, if I’ve learned anything this semester, it’s that the path you are “supposed” to take is just as tangled and impossible as any other.
I know this commentary wasn’t funny at all, and that no one reads my column for life advice, and I’m sorry about that. But it looks like there might be room for one last punch line:
How many TU police officers does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven.
One to change the bulb, one to write an incident report, one to administer a breathalyzer, one to interview witnesses, one to give an official statement, one to send out an emergency email, one to send out another emergency email, and zero to be out solving actual crimes.
Was that lame?
You know what, I’m getting too old for this crap.
So long, Towson.
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