Life in 140 characters

I don’t like Twitter. But out of respect for its ideals, I will limit this editorial to sentence chunks of 140 characters or less.

It frustrates me that while blogging already pushes people to communicate less by communicating more, Twitter goes one step further.

It forces you to put a maximum count on “blurbs”, which means you can spend your time updating your life, instead of living it.

Do I care if your cat choked on an English muffin and he’s in the vet, which is why you missed #Desperate Housewives last night? No.

Combined with mobile capabilities, you can now update your life while on the move. In my opinion, I hope your phone breaks.

Twitter is stalking in another form. How do I know? You can follow people. Duhh.

What are you doing? Better question: Who cares?
Twitter has its own language, consisting of #Pound symbols and @At-Signs. Sounds to me like a cult.

Movie stars and rappers on Twitter? Just goes to show how boring Hollywood apparently is. Entertainment business my ass, that place is boring.

Why 140? Why not 150? Why not 130? Are the numbers important? They weren’t anywhere in #Lost, so I’m gonna have to say NO.

John Mayer “retweeted” your tweet? Congratulations. You’re a twit, and you’re obsessed with a curly-haired piano boy.

I received an e-mail yesterday morning informing me that my mom is now following my tweets. Therefore, yesterday sucked.

The fail whale is #Twitter’s own “404 Error”. Call me crazy, but a Web site that shows 140 character posts should be really able to work.

@SouljaBoy has a Twitter account. Do I have to reiterate that even celebrities get bored enough to tweet whenever anything happens?
Miley Cyrus deleted her Twitter? Let’s broadcast this news on television! And then let’s rewrite the definition of “news” in the dictionary!

I hate bluebirds. And Twitter has a large bluebird on it. I would not kill a bluebird, but I will avoid it at all costs.

Important tweet: My friend’s brother has a friend whose uncle’s college roommate’s sister’s boyfriend has a dog whose name is Todd.

RT @JohnMayer OMG add me on facebook plz!!! I liek that Web site more anywayz. Kthx.

You know what the worst thing is about Twitter? People use it instead of talking to people. Except people who talk to people about Twitter.

And ^that’s wrong. See? I can’t even form a cohesive thought in 140 characters. Let alone keep you, world audience, updated on my life.

I hate Twitter. I hate Twitter. I hate Twitter. I hate Twitter. I hate Twitter. I hate Twitter. I hate Twitter. I hate Twitter. I hate Twitt

3 comments

Tim

Tue Nov 10 2009 16:17

Young fogey.

Yolanda Manning

Tue Nov 10 2009 12:51

Using 140 characters & UNDER to respond to your OPINION

Know BEFORE you write, WRITE only what you KNOW. First off, it's @souljaboytellem and yes celebs are on twitter & VERIFIED. Updating daily.

Celebrities updates help fans to feel closer and know where & what they are doing w/out going to their websites daily

It also shows us that celebrities are quite normal, not as stuck-up&actually listen & communicates with their fans-who are much appreciated

Twitter can have it's stalker moments, but its for networking that can't be done just in school & and the community-reaching bigger networks

On twitter alone, I have met hundreds of diverse individuals, including celebrities, who have helped me socially and academically.

Why 140? That's just a way of containing the message to brief updates, something like SMS. Some people can talk TOO much. This limits them.

You might spend a lot of your day addicted to updating, but MOST people actually have lives outside twitter, hence, why people follow them..

Miley Cyrus deleted her twitter-her fans cared, but really after 1 day she wasn't even a trending topic&people were over her leaving twitter

Facebook has too much going on, NO celebrities are verified, and you could be talking to tons of fakes. Celebs & people. You never know!!!!!

What are you doing? That's what you ASSUME we talk about on twitter. Half the time we DON'T. We're discussing all sorts of things.

Best thing about twitter - I've met people that are not just in my school or MD, but people in all 50 states & a variety of countries.

Important tweet: My mom thinks my cat should join Facebook - clearly FaceBook is going TOO far by allowing pet pages. Like really?

@Ludajuice (rapper Ludacris-VERIFIED) "retweeted" my tweet. YES I'm estatic b/c he listens and to some people that makes their DAY!

John Mayer? Twitter is about @aplusk (ashton kutcher), @iamdiddy (p diddy), @ellendegeneres, @barackobama, & Oprah.

Twitter has cohesive thoughts. Intellectually stimulating people can create thoughts in 140 characters or under.

Furthermore, twitter is comical, emotions, opinions, small debates, opinions, and small facts.

I LOVE TWITTER. I LOVE TWITTER. I LOVE TWITTER. I LOVE TWITTER. I LOVE TWITTER.I LOVE TWITTER.I LOVE TWITTER.I LOVE TWITTER.I LOVE TWITTER.

- Yours Truly, @FACEOFDIAMONDS - Follow me. You won't regret it.

Hootie

Mon Nov 9 2009 16:15

*applauds*

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